Kate Moss: model, designer; actress and soon-to-be ballet dancer. Photograph: Brian Rasic /Rex Features
What on earth are we to have of Kate Moss"s arriving ballet debut?
Sharon, by email
We are to pretence that the finish is nigh, Sharon. But I"m not sure if headlines that Kate is to crop up in a ballet movie with Mikhail Baryshnikov is some-more or less joyless than the actuality that Baryshnikov was identified in the Daily Mail inform of this headlines eventuality as "Sex and the City star" (Kate, of course, indispensable no introduction). Crikey, if I"d someway concluded to fool around that awful piece of Alexsandr Petrovsky, that wouldn"t even have been the prominence of my career – and, as far as I can remember, I"ve never been the star of the Kirov.
But to the matter. There is something really vapid going on at the moment, and shall I discuss it you what it is? Yes, I shall: it"s this all-too-ubiquitous idea that since a indication can wear a little clothes, she can do a total host of alternative things too. Thus we have Kate dancing and (this one fills me with some-more dread) behaving in a little film; Agyness Deyn conceptualizing clothes; an identical item Jessica Stam. And I"m sure someone, somewhere, is releasing an album, positively featuring a integrate of duets with Beck/Ryan Adams/Jack White etc.
I entirely conclude that a model"s career is all as well short, and that they need to find a approach to fill their time and bank comment after they have upheld the hoary sell-by age of 26. But I"m not unconditionally assured this equates to they should afterwards do things that customarily require, yuh know, years of training, as against to a deceptive recognition of the contention existing.
I could roughly pardon Deyn"s incursion in to garments pattern – right away such a well-charted trail for the indication with gangling time on their hands – if usually the garments she "designed" weren"t so definitely and utterly hideous, together with a tattered jumper and a profoundly fugly – yeah, I pronounced fugly – purple dress. Of course, if they were any great that would hurt my complete evidence and that would be even some-more irritating.
So let"s think instead what these models could do. In the box of Moss, I"d utterly similar to an journal (and am accessible for ghost-writing duties, Mossy – usually for you, babycakes, usually for you). But in the main, the universe seems far improved set up for models with gangling time on their hands than it"s ever been – and I"m not usually articulate about promotion contracts for Marks Spencer, or describing their skincare routines to Sunday publication repository supplements (emphasising the cleanse-tone-moisturise part, of course, as against to the Botox-Botox-Botox part). After all, there"s a universe of placements right away open up to them. Really, one can roughly see these placements as free institutions – similar to abandoned baby hospitals, there to see after the needy and aimless. These placements are, of course, called "reality TV shows".
I"m nonplussed by the ubiquity of a sure kind of men"s scarf: straight stripes in delicate colour shades. On the BBC News at Ten, you infrequently catch a period of reporters wearing them; I once counted 4 in the same bulletin. We competence as well all be Maoists – is no alternative kind of headband allowed? What happened to the red scarf? The usually ones I see these days (apart from my own) are ragged by gentlemen in Jermyn Street.
Ian Jack, by email
How right you are, my gruff, red-scarfed, north-of-the-border co-worker – we competence as well be Maoists. And who would the Mao figure be? Philip Green, that"s who.
Green is the big kahuna of the high street, the shark of the Oxford Street ocean, the man at the back of Topman, and to illustrate the legitimate aim of your ire. The Man de Top right away straddles an appealing sequence in between almost decent-tailoring and charming campness, to illustrate creation it the lucky high-street preference of the in vogue happy man and the immature masculine luminary (and yes, I do realize that those sectors spasmodic overlap).
This, in turn, creates it utterly the trendsetter for those who crop up in the media, ie headlines presenters. The headband of that you verbalise has had utterly a participation in Topman for a little time, and there is something of the unavoidable that it has right away inveigled the approach on to your dear BBC News at Ten.
But hold fast to your outstanding red scarf. As they contend in Withnail I, a stopped time is right twice a day and conform shall pitch your approach again, so afterwards you will have the compensation of never carrying been convinced by the winds of trendiness. Or, for that matter, carrying resembled a headlines presenter.
Post your questions to Hadley Freeman, Ask Hadley, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Email ask.hadley@guardian.co.uk
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